THE ESK-HOLE, All Chief, all the Time...
Volume 1: Fail to the Chief..
By Tony Romeo phillypage2.com (10-2002)

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa"....and so begins another brilliant diatribe by the Chief. This time he is putting some A.I. fan in their place, or reminding us which player is garbage, or...extolling the non-virtue of tailgating. But wait, what's this?

"The Eagles are the BEST TEAM in the NFC", he states, demonstratively, and then paves their way to the Superbowl, with relative ease. "Rams...done." "Chicago, different year." Saints, "Nice" team, but can't go all the way.

If it were any other personality would have you pumping your fist the whole ride home in exuberance. But from Ex-Cowboy Lover, philly hater supreme, it just kind of leaves you with a sick feeling in your gut....

And that's the idea!

Don't fall for it Philadelphia. That is the method to his madness. He's wearing green THIS year, but it's not Eagle Green, it's Grinch Green. See, to him, we are, and always will be, nothing more then "Stillers" fans, East. But, he is scared this year. Scared the Eagles could actually make a run, and do it. And that is this Grinchey Chief’s ultimate nightmare…One whole year of celebration, and having to listen to all the F-U’s down in F-U-ville, and all the noise, noise, noise, noise. If there is one thing the Chief hates, it’s Eagle noise, noise, noise. In his feeble mind, he had to think of something to combat this possibility. To dampen it, in some way.

So, he sat in his loft, and the top of Mt. Hump-it, and came up with an idea. The Chief had a wonderful awful idea…

"Look at these zeros, trying to be ones!"
"Cheering their IGGLES, trying to have FUN!"
"They think they can stop me, but I've just begun!"
"All the F-Us in F-U-ville will soon have their fun DONE!"

"Partying in Parking lots, Putting the city to Shame"
"That's not the event...The GAME is the GAME!"
"Tailgaters are Dopes, It's nothing but Lame.."

“They can all go You-Know-Where, LET them Holler and squeal…”
“You can’t chase the CHIEF, I'll be right here. Keepin’ it real!”

"I know JUST what I’ll do…he snarled with a sneer…
“I’m gonna root for the eagles! I’ll cheer the whole year!”

“When they see ME onboard, it will cause great debate”
“The Eagles they love, and the Chief that they hate…”
“All served in one helping on a nice cozy plate!”

"When they think of the Eagles, They’ll think of the Chief!"
"That’ll twist their bird brains that will cause them great grief!!"
"After each eagle victory, their happiness I’ll crappen…
"By saying on the air, “I told you Dopes it would Happen!”

'And if they don’t make it? I won't lose any hair,"
'Because unlike these Geniuses, I don’t really care!'
'I’ll make some excuses, It’s no sweat of my sack…
'I’m just trying to keep these Dopes quiet…
'Till the Cowboys are back on track!!!"

There it is Philly. Plain and simple. The Chief is just playing with you. Don’t buy in. He’s not an Eagle Fan, Admirer, or Respecter, and he is not THAT buddy, buddy with Reid. (Reid is too smart to be that close with anyone in the media.) The Chief isn’t ROOTING for anything but YOUR unhappiness, as usual. But, in fear that a Superbowl might happen this year, he has devised this tact to take just a little wind out of your sails.

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