There will be a million head to head comparisons of the World Series participants.  Just about all will be put together by an unbiased and semi-intelligent media member.  One will be written by a completely biased Phillies fan, who spends an inordinate amount of time “escaping reality.”  Guess which one this is?

Starting Pitching: Phils slight edge.

The aces are both top quality.  Its the Phils depth that give them the small advantage.  They have options.  Quality options, that is.  Yanks are probably 3 deep and, therefore, are counting on Sabathia to pitch games 1, 4 and 7.  Thats 2 straight games with 3 days rest for you clowns who suck at math.  Which is probably most of you since, if you’re reading this, it means you’re not busy at work, which means you dont have an important job, which means you dicked off in school instead of learning math and getting a real job.   On top of that, he’ll be facing a quality lineup, which leads to more of his pitches being the stressful kind.  I just can’t see how he’ll be the same guy on pitch #300 over eight days, especially because he’s fat (and nobody likes fat people).  Ergo, the Yanks “advantage” in throwing him 3 times isn’t really an advantage at all.

Bullpen: Yankees edge

Rivera is probably the most dominate player in postseason history.  You have that, you get the edge.  Doesn’t matter that the Yankee setup guys are suddenly shaky or the Lidge has found his groove.  Rivera neutralizes the Phils penchant for late inning heroics and makes the Yanks have to win only eight innings.

First Base: Phils edge

Probably would’ve been only a slight edge, if both players were performing as expected.  But, Howard is playing a different game then anyone not named Gay-Rod and Texiera is scuffling.

Second base: Phils edge

Again, would’ve been a huge advantage if Utley was playing like Utley.  But, a slightly below average Chase is always better than Cano, regardless of how he is playing.

Shortstop: Yankees slight edge

Both top of the lineup studs, offensively and defensively.  Rollins is only slumping early in games-he still hits when it matters most (see NLCS game 4).  But, Jeter has banged pretty much every top shelf piece of ass in NYC.  And that should be worth something, which gets him the nod.  Of course his baseball skills are overrated so, I’m not sure.

3rd base: Yankees substantial edge

Steroids are awesome.

Left field: Push

Ibanez and Damon are such different players, its hard to compare.  Damon throws like he has a vagina (and looks like he is second generation ape).  But, he has a well rounded offensive game.  Raul has been streaky.  If he’s hot, Phils have the advantage here.

Centerfield: Phils definitive edge

Cabrera is a bottom of the order guy who’s arm and range are not in Victorino’s class.  And his name is Melky which, we all know, rhymes with “sucks cock.”

Right Field: Phils substantial edge

Swisher is a good guy.  Werth is a tool.  But, this isnt high school and Werth is better at every facet of baseball.  Throw in the fact that Swisher is slumping and its not even close.

Catcher: Yanks slight edge

We all know Chooch is money in the postseason and his defensive prowess is well noted.  But, Posada hits alot higher and is more relied on to produce runs.  I recall a few clutch postseason performances from him too.

Designated Hitter: Yanks edge

Matsui has the advantage of being used to the job of hitting without being in defensively.  And he’s a pretty solid hitter.  Especially for an Asian who should be doing math or something less manly.  Phils not even sure who their DH is.  Regardless, whoever Chuck pulls out of his ass, will be hitting 7th and, therefore, will have trouble making the kind of impact Matsui can.

Intangibles: Phils edge

Yankees are about as tradition rich a franchise as there is in sports.  But, what have you done for me lately?  Phillies are defending Champions.  Enough said.  It also bears mentioning that the Yanks lose an important part of their lineup during their 3 games in Philly.  Its an often overlooked reason why, despite the AL being a better league overall, the NL produces more than their fair share of Series winners.  Its much easier for an NL team to adjust to having the DH than it is an AL team adjusting to losing that piece.

Manager: Phils edge

Cholly hasn’t mastered the English language but, he does know the right button to choose, seemingly every time he needs to push one.  Girardi?  He probably knows the right buttons to push too.  When he is massaging Torre’s loins, that is.  I mean the guy takes Posada out his lineup when Burnett pitches.  Genius.

I see the Phils in 5.  Nothing against the Yanks, a real good team.  But, its business as usual.  Parade will be on a beautiful Wednesday in November.  And Bruce can watch from his private hospital room.