Where to begin….well, let’s just say I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day. It’s a Hallmark Holiday Trap. If you are in a relationship, you feel like crap because you have to do something out of the ordinary on some random, say Wednesday, like this year, and it’s a hassle. If you are not in a relationship, then the holiday is really SINGLE AWARENESS DAY…and again… you feel like crap. There are no winners on either side of the valentine fence, only degrees of losing!

For the great majority of the last 15 years or so, I have been on the side of being in a relationship, two long term ones, and having that sick feeling that I HAD to do something for Valentines Day, year after year, trying to top the last one! What a farce and a load of crap, Valentine’s Day is like saying the other 364 days you are with me, are not the pinnacle of romance and happiness, and clearly, they are! Or something like that…

So anyway, my one rule of v-day, is NO RESTAURAUNTS on the day. And oddly enough, I never had any complaints about that one. All my valentines agreed that it was totally cliché, and they were over-crowded with people that fine dine maybe once a year on that day. Service is weak, food is not as good as normal, etc.

Then a few years ago, curiosity got the better of me, and I said:

“You know what? Let’s do that goofy go to a really nice restauraunt thing that all the other stiffs do on V-Day…just to confirm that we still think it’s a horrible idea.”

So we did. I decided on Chez Elana Wu. A very nice restaurant we had been to many times with great success. So I called to make the reservation …

Me: Hi! Yes, I’d like to make a reservation for two, on the 14^th…

CEW: Fine Sir, whatta name?!

Me: “ROMEO” my name is Romeo…

At this point the gentleman on the other end of the phone, an Asian person that spoke English but with an accent, began laughing at me and asks again.

CEW: What the name?

Me: Romeo is the name to put it under…

Again, more laughter, and then he said…

CEW: ” ERRRY BODY ROMEO ONNA VALE-TINE-DAY…ha ha ha!!!

At this point, even I am laughing a little…

Me: No, Really! Romeo, my last name is Romeo! Honestly!

He didn’t budge, and continued to laugh, not believing me…

CEW: “OKAY… OKAY… MR VALE-TINE DAY! I put you in for two….What time Mr. Vale-Tine Day coming in?! ha ha ha.” He continues to laugh…

As fate would have it, (people with the last name ROMEO are USED to fate not cooperating!) I had placed this call from my cubby at work, in earshot of about 7 women that I work with. From that day, and esp. on Valentine’s day…they refer to me as

MR. VALE-TINE DAY!!!

True Story…. Happy Valentine’s everybody!

PS. this is meant in no way to disparage the fine Asian Americans that make and have made our great land what it is! The cartoon is meant to be silly. I don’t get offended by Super Mario…so, LIGHTEN UP!!!